I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
