You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
