you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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