My nipple is on Facebook.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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