Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
