living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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