i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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