1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
