Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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