to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
