Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
