Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize