My hair reeks of homosexuality.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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