I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
