man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize