he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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