She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
