Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
