i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
