there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
be right there i have to get my cape
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
