I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
