So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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