I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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