Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
