If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize