You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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