He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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