she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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