my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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