I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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