And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
