I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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