she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
