he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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