he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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