My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
