dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
