Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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