Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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