So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hope mine doesn't look like that
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
