so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
