I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
