Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
