I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
