# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
