my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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