im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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