Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
