It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you would pick up someone in the library
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
