there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
