I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
