WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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