Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
