i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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