After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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