Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
