why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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