If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
