Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
