how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
