I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
