She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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