I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I intend to get homeless drunk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
