New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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