I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
