My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
