I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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