He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
