Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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