Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
