It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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