does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
